Pointless, unexplainable desires

I just opened a business and in the process cut my pay by about 70% from what I was previously making in the ad biz. We have another baby on the way and the insurance at my wife’s new-ish job blows, meaning that after the baby arrives the stork will also be dropping off a co-pay bill for about $5k, not to mention the increased daycare costs three months after her maternity leave ends. And our house needs a new roof in a bad way.

And yet, for some inexplicable reason, about once a month I find myself logging onto ebay and looking at auctions for the large-scale Shogun Warriors Godzilla figure released in the 70’s.

Why? I’m not entirely sure. Let’s peel back the layers of my cerebellum and try and find out together, shall we? A good start might be to get all of you who are not familiar with said Godzilla toy up to speed on this item. Here’s a visual to get the saliva flowing.



Very cool, yes? Here’s some background for you: this toy was released by Mattel in 1979 as part of their ‘Shogun Warriors” line of giant robot figures based on Japanese characters. The Godzilla figure stood 19 1/2” tall and as you can see, didn’t really look all that much like Godzilla. But its scale was impressive for the time.

I know what you’re thinking – “Just another Gen-X’er wanting to reclaim the toy his parents threw away.” Not so - I never owned this toy. When it was released I was 12 years old, and had outgrown toys. But I still liked Godzilla as a character / concept, so I always looked at it whenever I was stuck at Sears or JC Penny’s with my mom and headed to the toy section out of boredom. Here’s more pics.




His “atomic breath” was simulated via a flicking plastic tongue (triggered by a lever that is prone to break) and his fist also shot off, which didn’t make a helluva lot of sense either. And his feet had wheels on the bottom, but if you rolled him too fast he simply fell over. And yet, despite these many shortcomings…I want one. The overall effect of it is undeniably neat. We now pause for a word from our sponsors.



It’s not like I don’t have Godzilla figures already. I have the re-issue of the old beloved Aurora model from the 60’s / 70's that I built as a kid, as well as some nice inexpensive vinyl figures from Japan that actually look like the character. Why does this imperfect, altogether unnecessary thing keep flitting about, moth-like, in and out of my consciousness?

Cue my wife's reply - "Because you're stupid." Well, that may be true, but there must be some deeper, darker force at work. I also must clarify that I never bid much on this item when I do try and nab it - generally I go for imperfect specimens (paint scuffs, loose firing hand, the aforementioned broken tongue lever) and bid a maximum of $50. Over the last eight years or so I have probably tried to get it on the cheap somewhere in the realm of ten times, and am always defeated.

Then again, Father's Day is fast approaching...it's not too much to ask for a little green plastic love on June 21st, is it?