Wednesday, January 28, 2009

Just to keep you in the loop

So apparently The Hulk had sex, and his gamma seed found purchase in some presumably tough-as-nails woman's soil, and a baby was produced. Wanting a better life for their offspring far away from the violence and destruction that has followed The Hulk they decided to name him "Skaar" (I'm assuming he has a "scar" somewhere) and gave him swords and axes to play with and back issues of "Conan" to read before bedtime. I think The Hulk himself may be red instead of green now too.

Here endeth your update on all things Hulk.

I want

I will pay a king's ransom* to the person who finds me one of these vintage "Any Which Way You Can" iron-ons. And yes, I do like that this iron-on is for the sequel. Because I find "Any Which Way" superior to "Every Which Way But Loose." Not only does it have Clint Eastwood singing (well, sorta) a duet with Ray Charles over the opening credits (the haunting and elegiac "Beers To You"), but he second is a far looser film, and with the characters already firmly established, is thus is free to plunge headlong into outright surrealism. The first film, although certainly goofy, hews a little too closely to reality at times for a movie about a bare-knuckle boxer with an orangutan sidekick. However, both unfortunately feature Sandra Locke singing.

*"King's ransom" is subject to definition by Blogfoot Inc and may be limited to a sincere "thanks" in the comments section.

Friday, January 23, 2009

Fire your research department

So last week I was about to go to bed (growl!) when I noticed that the Biography Channel had a show on Andre the Giant coming up. My curiosity was piqued but I was sleepy, so I hit the ol' record button of the DVR. Well, I got around to watching it the other day and was shocked and chagrined to discover that no mention was made of Andre playing the Bionic Bigfoot on multiple episodes of "The Six Million Dollar Man" in the 70's.

This is fairly unforgivable. Although I appreciate the program dedicating a good portion of it's time to analyzing how much food and liquor Andre could consume, to leave out Bionic Bigfoot is just shabby journalism.

Speaking of "The Six Million Dollar Man" - why isn't that show out on DVD by now? All you can get are crummy bootleg DVDs at sci-fi conventions and blurry bit-torrents (my preferred format, as it's "more free" than the bootleg DVDs).

Anyway, I will now do what the cowards at Biography could / would not do: pay homage to Andre's Bionic Bigfoot.

Tuesday, January 20, 2009

Interesting inauguration factoid

"Richard Nixon's 1973 inaugural parade route was lined with sick and dying pigeons after they ate repellent intended to make their feet itch."

Well, that's what they get for using G. Gordon Liddy-brand Pigeon Repellent. Thanks for making me aware of this, Minneapolis Star Tribune.

Saturday, January 17, 2009

Leave her alone

Here is a rather large, imposing snowman in the act of demanding a carrot from my wife. Dude is so big his hat is a traffic cone.

Thursday, January 15, 2009

"Prisoner" update

Want to watch full episodes of "The Prisoner", the Patrick McGoohan show whose virtues I did extol in Mr. McGoohan's obit just below? Sure you do, because it's cool.

Well, the good folks at AMC are streaming it online for free. How dope is that? Very dope, I can assure you. Check it out here.

Thanks, AMC!

Various images of interest from across the vast electronic ether

First off, here's a poster for legendary German thespian Klaus Kinski's early 70's one-man show, where he toured as Jesus Christ and howled at audiences in a guttural fashion. Klaus's Jesus was apparently having none of that "turn the other cheek" nonsense.

I don't know about you, but seeing that playbill outside a theatre would make me whip out my wallet and hurl my money at the cashier. Then I would elbow other patrons out of the way and rush to my front row seat, chomping on my popcorn in rapt anticipation the whole time.

Next we have an old paperback book cover from 1968 for a hard-to-find Captain America novel (!). I like the old pulpy look - although I thought Cap always disdained guns. What I like is that the illustrator obviously got a model and shot reference photos (a common practice at the time), and made the guy wear underwear on the outside of his pants. It's a pretty sweet illustration though - and I'd love to read this book, but copies of it online start at $25, so no deal.

And finally we have some images from artist Michael Paulus, who boldly opines on what Charlie Brown's skeletal structure might look like, were he a creature of flesh-and-blood rather than ink.

Pretty neat. You can see more of Michael's work here.

That's all I have on my desktop right now. Thanks, interwebs!

Number Six has left us as well

The Village has one less resident now, because Patrick McGoohan died today at the age of 80. He was the writer, producer and star of the 60's cult TV hit "The Prisoner," which is a strange and awesome show that melded spy fiction with science fiction, and if you haven't seen it you should Netflix it immediately.

He was in many films over the years (usually playing rather intense or sinister fellows) such as "Escape From Alcatraz", "Scanners" and "Silver Streak," among others. He was rumored to have turned down both the roles of both James Bond and The Saint and also directed episodes of the masterful "Columbo." Dang - that's quite the biography. Well done.

Wednesday, January 14, 2009

Farewell, sir

Ricardo Montalban passed away today at the age old of 88. Whatever the cause, I'm sure he still managed to pass away suavely. Regular readers are no doubt aware of how revered "Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan" is here at the Blogfoot headquarters; this is due in no small part to Ricardo's straight-up awesome portrayal of a vengeance-obsessed genetic superman with a yen for quoting Melville.

I'm going to carry a swatch of rich, Corinthian leather around for the next week or so and occassionaly reach into my pocket to feel it's reassuring touch (all Lenny "Of Mice and Men"-style). It's the only tribute fitting enough for this man.

Chipolte now has an iphone app

How on earth did I ever manage to procure, let alone enjoy, a burrito before? I was living a burrito lie.

Tuesday, January 13, 2009

A crow could probably do your job

Unfortunately, you have to sit through the Ultimate Fighting commercial to get to the crow video. Grandpa was right when he said "There ain't no such thing as free soup."

I would credit Double Viking for the video, but their giant superimposed logo already lingers over the screen during the entire thing.

***UPDATE*** Sorry, that video had to go. Now it was showing 2 Ultimate Fighting commercials before the crow video, plus it would start automatically every time the page loaded. What an ass pain.

Friday, January 02, 2009

The Ballad of Ron Gallagher

If you're into cutting-edge comedy, you are no doubt familiar with the trailblazer known as Gallagher. If that name doesn't ring a bell, then allow me to deftly and with but a few bold strokes paint you a visual: he's the bald dude who sorta dresses like mime and smashes watermelons with a sledgehammer. And until Carrot Top's huge freckled arms wrested his crown away, he was the most popular prop comic ever.

And just in case I failed utterly in coaxing forth a visual from your addled brains, here he is (note: finding a nice establishing shot of this guy took about 7.8 times longer than you would think, because if you google "Gallagher" you mostly get pictures of the band Oasis):

And here is a description of his act, via wikipedia:

His signature sketch is the “Sledge-O-Matic,” a large wooden mallet that Gallagher uses to smash a variety of objects, including computer keyboards, containers of cottage cheese, cartons of chocolate milk tubes of toothpaste, pound cake ("I guess it does"), Big Macs, and, most famously, watermelons. Given the messy nature of this portion of his act, it is usually saved for the finale of his shows. Show attendees in the first two or three rows are usually provided with plastic sheeting for protection, and many fans bring their own additional protection (raincoats, umbrellas, and so on). Gallagher performs other prop-food gags including a demonstration of constipation using a jar of Jif peanut butter and an explanation of the difference between men and women using a sausage wrapped in a banana peel.

Can you imagine? The difference between men and women illustrated via a sausage wrapped in a banana peel? Stop - my side hurts!

So what, you say? How ballsy, picking on Gallagher? Normally you'd be right, and have senor Blogfoot at a loss. But not today. For keen readers will note that the title of this post is "The Ballad of Ron Gallagher." And the Gallagher we have been talking about is actually named Leo Gallagher. So what gives?

An epic tale of familial strife and betrayal to rival anything that ever leapt forth from Shakespeare's quill, that what gives.

You see, our famous comedian Leo Gallagher had a brother named Ron. Ron was unemployed. But one day Ron had an idea. And that idea was this (take it away, wikipedia):

At some point during the early 1990s, Gallagher’s younger brother Ron Gallagher asked Gallagher for permission to perform shows using Gallagher’s old routines, and also using Gallagher’s trademark Sledge-O-Matic routine. The idea was that Ron Gallagher, who was unemployed, would tour the country working small venues that couldn’t afford a show put on by Gallagher himself. Since Ron bears a strong familial resemblance to his older brother, the show would be almost like having a real Gallagher show.

Gallagher granted his blessing to his younger brother on the condition that Ron and his manager would make it clear in their promotional materials that it was Ron Gallagher, not Gallagher himself, that was putting on the show.

After a few years of complying with Gallagher’s conditions, Ron began blurring the line between his act and that of his brother. He would often promote his act as “Gallagher Too,” a moniker Gallagher felt was insufficiently informative. In some instances, Ron’s act was promoted in a way that provided no clue to prospective attendees that they were seeing someone other than Gallagher himself.

Gallagher initially attempted to get his brother to stop these activities by requesting that he stop using Gallagher’s well-known Sledge-O-Matic routine. These efforts proved futile, and Ron kept touring as “Gallagher Too” while using the Sledge-O-Matic routine his older brother had made famous. Consequently, in August 2000, Gallagher sued his brother for trademark violations and false advertising. The courts ultimately sided with Leo Gallagher, and an injunction was granted prohibiting Ron from performing any act that impersonates his brother in small clubs and venues.

During the lawsuit, all of Gallagher’s immediate family sided with Ron over the controversy. As a consequence, Gallagher is now estranged from his parents and siblings.

Wow. Now that my friends is what they call drama. Good ol' sturm and drang, doled out in fist-sized chunks. Just for comparisons sake, here is the real Gallagher:

And here is Ron (This picture was fairly hard to locate. Ron is apparently like Bigfoot, in that he he skillfully avoids being photographed):

You can see why the ploy worked. What would really be awesome is if Ron previously had no moustache, and in fact hated moustaches and thought they were dumb, but had to grow one in order to make coin off his brother.

I first read about this years ago, and somehow forgot about it. Then some co-workers and I were discussing Gallagher a couple of weeks ago and and a little research brought it all rushing back. Anyway - I'm sold. I want to make a movie about this saga. Even an "American Movie"-style documentary would be fine. I've already got the logo figured out. This could use some love, but the idea is basically this:

If you really wanted to get all conceptually crazy you could have the type sitting on a mass of pulped watermelon or something like that. Someone get going on refining that gem of an idea, and I'll look into camera rentals. At the very least we should be able to get a grant for a play out of this sordid tale.

Oh yeah, I have a blog

Kinda forgot there for a while, it being the holidays and all. But I'm back on the case. I'm now going to scour my notes for some grist to post.