...it could just use a nap.
Pictured above is the world’s coolest bass player, although you’d be forgiven for thinking it’s actor Joe Don Baker of “Walking Tall” fame. This god among men took a break from laying people off / golfing / making bird houses in his wood shop to hold down the bottom end in what was either the worst or the greatest cover band I’ve ever seen. It was comprised entirely of flabby white guys who were over 50+ years old, and they thumbed their collective nose at the very-real possibility of heart attacks to carve out their legend in a St. Paul parking garage during a St Patrick’s Day soiree this weekend, tearing (read: wheezing, limping, etc) though a succession of bold and offbeat song choices such as "Twist and Shout", Elvis's "Burnin' Love" and "Glory Days."
These guys were so white that they made Air Supply look like the MC5. Even the tried-and-true technique of not altering your garb in any way but just tossing on a pair of sunglasses somehow failed to give them the element of danger and sexuality every great rock band needs. Thus, we dubbed them “Ken Lay and The Enron Band.” A co-worker summed it up nicely when he said “the only thing that would make these guys hipper is if Clinton was up there playing the sax.”
Sorry about the poor quality of the cell phone pics. They don’t accurately convey the majesty of this man, but I suspect only a giant oil painting could hope to do that. My wife’s cell phone only cost $400 or so, and I guess you just can’t expect decent quality for that pittance. Down with Treo! Boo!