Friday, July 28, 2006
Minneapolis zombies claim their rights were violated
Some zombies spent last weekend in the hoosegow here in Minneapolis. Apparently they were having a "zombie dance party" downtown, were detained by police, and then arrested and held. They also claim that police said that they were going to shoot them in the head. No shit, Sherlock. The Minneapolis police force is a well-trained one, and they know that when you see a zombie, you should shoot it in the head. That's called "our tax dollars at work."
The bad thing is that now we're going to have a class 3 or worse zombie epidemic on our hands. One can only assume that the zombies grew hungry while in lockup, and, most likely unsatisfied with the baloney sandwiches they were given, decided to snack on their fellow prisoners. Those prisoners will in turn become zombies, and when released on Monday, will lurch out into the twin cities in search of living flesh. Board up the windows and stock up on canned goods, people. This is going to be bad.
You can read the chilling tale in it's entirety here.