I'm in the market for some new shoes. But I'm tired of rocking the same old New Balance sneakers, so I decided to get some ape shoes. You know, the shoes worn in the "Planet of the Apes" series of films...shoes that are molded with a thumb-like digit on the side to make it look like the wearer has ape feet. Here's where my dilemma comes in.
Pictured above are the chimp feet (chimps being the scientists and citizens in the films), which clearly look ape-like. But they're made of suede, a material which isn't exacty famous for being resilient to the elements, a concern since I reside in the midwest. Also, I'm not super-enthused by the Peter Pan-esque green color they come in, as I believe for the most part that shoes should be black or brown.
And here are some boots, as worn by the gorillas, the soldiers / military arm of industrial-agro ape complex, which certainly fit my boot-wearing idiom. But to be honest they look more like camel feet. Camel toes, if you will. But being constructed of traditional leather, they would certainly wear better than the sueded chimp feet, and also look better with denim, my pant fabric of choice.
I'm clearly going to have to give this some more thought.