Monday, May 07, 2007

Cryptozoology University


So the wife and I completed the 3-week course "Lake Monsters, Bigfoot & UFO's" at Minneapolis Community College (AKA a rather squalid high school). Actually, we were truant for the last class, which tackled the UFO mystery, but I'm assuming it was a lot like the first two. That is, the professor insisted that they exist, told a story of how he saw one, and showed the class some blurry b&w pictures from books published in 70's, most of which I already have.

I guess I shouldn't be so harsh. The professor was a genial old chap named Dr. Charles Huver, and if I heard / remember correctly, he received his PHD from Yale and teaches Invertibrate Biology at the U of M. So he's obviously not some witless dope. However, some visual aids would have been nice. A plaster cast of a footprint, maybe pop in a VHS tape of an old "In Search Of..." episode, overhead transparencies, something.

And as interested as I have been since literally 1973 about Bigfoot, I always have maintained a somewhat realistic view of the whole concept. I mean, it's a lot easier to digest the possibility of it if you think of Bigfoot as a nocturnal animal instead of a monster. But I also think that the famous Patterson footage is a guy in a suit. But our teacher questioned nothing. He was fishing once on the St. Croix River and saw a stream of bubbles. Must be a lake monster! It's the only logical explanation. Something scared his cats one night. Must be Bigfoot prowling about! Because foxes and coyotes, those are the truly mythical creatures.

Anyway, it was something to do. And it was sorta enjoyable. And it did yield this terrific find, courtesy of a home & garden catalog some friends brought to show me:


That's right, it's a Garden Yeti! It stands over 2 feet tall, and it can be yours for a mere $98.95. Or, to be more accurate, it will be mine for a mere $98.95. I think it will really set off my lillac bushes. It's available from the fine folks at Toscano, which is appparently an Italian company that makes weird shit for fringe-dwellers. They have a variety of unicorns and wizards, not to mention this fine item:


The garden zombie. Pretty cool, I must say. Once again, a veritable steal at $85.00.

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

That Zombie is gonna look super sweet in front of your house.

Not as sweet as the photo etched tombstone you and the wife got photographed for this weekend.

BlogFoot said...

Why, thank you for that chilling and macabre sentiment!