Wednesday, April 30, 2008

On tonight's episode of "Hunter"

Dee Dee (Stepfanie Kramer) goes undercover as a hooker.

Next week: Dee Dee (Stepfanie Kramer) goes undercover as a hooker.

All Dee Dee ever did was go undercover as a hooker. Don't believe me? Then check out the below clip, wherein Dee Dee is clearly undercover as a hooker not once, but twice in the opening credits alone (And no, those aren't typos above - she really spelled her name "Stepfanie").

More Dee Dee-as-Hooker proof.

And yes, because a rabid public demanded it,
here is a link
to a whole bunch of "Hunter" fan fiction. Enjoy.

BIgfoot sighting re-enactment

This is good. There's this dude who claims to have spotted Bigfoot in his apartment buildings parking lot. Here's his terrifyingly real drawing of the beast (and no, he's not 6 years old).

So although this guy can't draw a lick, he apparently has some computer skills, and set up this well-worth-your-time re-enactment on his website. Go forth and click through the story. You'll be glad you did.

Tuesday, April 29, 2008

More weird food

Here is a gaggle of OctoDogs relaxing in a bed of relish. Although the more common octopi are generally considered to be loners, these OctoDogs seem to thrive in groups / pods / swarms. Interesting.

Get your OctoDog-creating apparatus here, and watch previously dull mealtimes roar to rollicking life in your household.

Thanks to Analog Pop for the tip.

"Zesty"? No. "Flavorful'? Not quite. "Groin-crushing"? Yeah, that's it.

Here's a bag of Japanese Doritos. Looks delicious, but I think I'll stick with 'Cool Ranch' or the destroys-all-comers 'Taco' flavor.

This Friday is going to be awesome

Why? Because I'm going to take a long lunch and go see "Iron Man."
But the sweetness doesn't stop there. No sir. Because that night I'm also going to go to the spectacular Heights Cinema (conveniently located near the blogfoot compound), where they are celebrating their 80th anniversary with a brand new 35mm print of "Planet of the Apes."
So suck it, non-nerds.

Wednesday, April 23, 2008

Well, excuse' moi

I've received a couple of emails now from loyal blogfoot readers / wiseacres telling me that they tried to translate my German-language review of the Kraftwerk concert via Babelfish and that while it did translate to English, it was stilted English that didn't make complete sense.

Well, I don't know what to tell you. I wrote my review in English, went to the Babelfish site and translated it into German, then pasted that translation in my blogger browser. Why is it not working in reverse? Beats me. That said, here is the gist of my review, now properly translated:

The concert was cool.

For those of you that are unhappy with how my clever German trick played out, I have but one thing to say to you. In the spirit of this post, it is an old Russian phrase my dad used to say to my brother and I when, as youngsters, we would express concerns about the unfairness of life. And that phrase is this: Tough shitski.

Kraftwerk war hervorragend

So wurden ein Freund und ich herauf das Gehen, Kraftwerk dieses Wochenende zu sehen fertig, wie es es war nicht geisteskrank kostspielig an allen, aber war anstatt angemessene $35.00 ausfällt. Und wie war es?

Ausgezeichnet. Es war ein Angriff auf den Richtungen. Die "Phasen" Versionen der Liede hatten mehr Schnäpper als die notierten Versionen, waren die Sichtbarmachungen eindrucksvoll, hatte alles gerade die rechte Menge von Stimmung, und ich ging weg mit einem kühlen blauen T-Shirt mit dem Autobahnschnellstraßezeichen auf ihm.

Wenn sie folgender Monat kamen, würde ich nicht gehe sehe sie wieder zögern. Zu irgendwelchen unserer Denver Leser, spielen sie heute abend am Fillmore Auditorium. Ich empfehle es in hohem Grade.

Monday, April 21, 2008

Eagle vs Goat

A story as old as time itself.

I'm going live my life avoiding golden eagles as much as humanly possible. I recommend you all do the same. They'd probably attack a mid-size car if the opportunity presented itself.

Tuesday, April 15, 2008

Bigfoot rejects your ironic request for "Freebird"

Presenting the Bigfoot guitar, as seen at Cryptomundo. Looks perfect for cranking out some Mountain or Molly Hatchet.

Something I've always wanted to do, pt. 2

So the wife and I had another couple over for dinner Sunday night. And what I'd like to do someday is this: when the other couple arrives for dinner, I would like to have some porn playing on the TV, with the sound off. As with the job interview/long crap scenario, I would make no mention of the porn of the TV, nor would I ever look in the direction of the screen. It would just be on, soundlessly playing porn, kind of like a porn fish tank, as we drank wine and shared small talk. Someday....

Wildly Popular 'Iron Man' Trailer To Be Adapted Into Full-Length Film

From the Onion News Network (The Onion, but with less reading. Linked on The Onion site). Good stuff.

Wildly Popular 'Iron Man' Trailer To Be Adapted Into Full-Length Film

Friday, April 11, 2008

Not bad, but it doesn't hold a candle to "Marley & Me"

I just picked up designer Stefan Sagmeister's new book "Things I Have Learned In My Life So Far", and after spending but a day constantly monkeying with it, reading it and looking at it, I must declare it to not only be a beautiful object and interesting read, but perhaps even a work of genius.

But is it a book? Sorta. It's more of a box comprised of 15 booklets housed in a die-cut slipcase. Each time you take out a booklet, the cover image changes. It's awesome, and everyone who has seen the case on my desk can't help but pick it up and slowly experiment with it. Each booklet uses different images and materials (everything from hot dogs to cactus and large inflatable monkeys) to enact large-scale typographic executions that illustrate statements Sagmeister has jotted down in his diary over the years such as “Worrying solves nothing” and “Trying to look good limits my life", all to interesting and frequently stunning effect.

This publication has officially been given the much sought-after "Blogfoot Blue-Ribbon Medal of Honor", bestowed on but a precious few projects that display an unwavering dedication to giving a shit via a level of skill, craft and ingenuity above and beyond the call of even the most unreasonably high expectations.

Here's pixel-ey video demonstrating the various cover shenanigans:

Tuesday, April 08, 2008

Something I've always wanted to do

This fantasy involves a job interview. I've always wanted to show up for a job interview and once I meet the person who will be interviewing me, immediately ask if they have a restroom I could use. I would then excuse myself and go into the bathroom for a good 10 minutes or so, keeping the person waiting and making them think I was taking a nice, long crap. Once I exited the bathroom I would make no mention of the fact that I had been gone for 10 minutes, kept them waiting, or anything. I would just say something like, "So - where were we?"

I really want to do this someday.

Friday, April 04, 2008

What the world, needs now, is - yet another blurry, inconclusive photo of what is supposed to be a Bigfoot-type creature.

Torn from today's headlines (or maybe yesterdays, or perhaps even last weeks) over at Loren Coleman's fine Cryptomundo blog is a photo from Australia purported to be of a Bigfoot. Except down under they call such creatures "the Yowie", and according to the lavish book cover art they show on the site, they apparently have 3 toes and dine on kangaroos. Maybe they ride into battle on the backs of great white sharks, too. Who knows.

Anyway, as you can plainly see (click to embiggen), something blurry, most likely a tree stump, is off in the distance. Chilling? Thought Provoking? Eyeball straining? Discuss amongst yourselves.

Consistency is key

So sometimes I like to read the talkback forums in the "AV Club" section of The Onion's website, because there's some funny stuff in there. And yesterday I was perusing the talkback on an Anna Paquin interview that I hadn't bothered to read (I just went right to the comments, as I frequently do when the subject doesn't thrill me that much). Most of them were dudes saying how they'd like to bang her, rendered with various degrees of wit. Then one maestro chimed in with this:

by Dongs
You should have asked her about dongs.

I don't know if the author spent a long time crafting this or just dashed it off in a bolt of furious inspiration, and I don't care. I'm just glad it exists.