Tuesday, March 03, 2009


These days it seems like every conversation revolves around the economy and how we're basically all circling the drain. Escapism is also big right now, as people like to forget about their plummeting 401ks and the marauding bands of gas-hoarding mutants canvassing the highways. Well, here's a post that kills two birds with one stone: The Forbes Fictional 15, a list comprised of the wealthiest make-believe characters, circa 2007 (market turbulence has undoubtedly changed this list somewhat). Here goes:

1) Scrooge McDuck
Worth: 28.8 billion
Source: Mining & Treasure hunting interests

2) Ming the Merciless ("Flash Gordon")
Worth: 20.9 billion
Source: Slavery, technology

3) Richie Rich (Obnoxious child comic-book character)
Worth: 16.1 billion
Source: Inheritance, Conglomerates

4) Mom ("Futurama")
Worth: $15.7 billion
Source: Tech, conglomerates

5) Jed Clampett ("Beverly Hillbillies")
Worth: $11.0 billion
Source: Oil via wayward buckshot, Banking

6) C. Montgomery Burns ("The Simpsons")
Worth: $8.4 billion
Source: Energy

7) Carter Pewterschmidt ("Family Guy" or that other dumb show the dude does)
Worth: $7.2 million
Source: Inheritance, Media, Steel

8) Bruce Wayne ("Batman")
Worth: $7.0 billion
Source: Inheritance, Defense

9) Thurston Howell III ("Gilligan's Island")
Worth: $6.3 billion
Source: Howell Industries

10) Tony Stark ("Iron Man")
Worth: $6.0 billion
Source: Defense Contracts, Transistors

11) Fake Steve Jobs (internet meme)
Worth: $5.7 billion
Source: Technology, Walt Disney Co.

12) Gomez Addams ("The Addams Family")
Worth: $2.0 billion
Source: Inheritance, Investments

13) Willy Wonka
Worth: $1.9 billion
Source: Confections, Aerospace

14) Lucius Malfoy ("Harry Potter")
Worth: $1.6 billion
Source: Inheritance

15) Princes Peach (Nintendo's "Mario Brothers")
Worth: $1.3 billion
Source: Inheritance, Commodities

Jeez - most of these slobs inherited their money. And I definitely like the inclusion of Ming the Merciless. But - if Richie Rich is listed #3, and obviously just a kid, wouldn't his net worth be entirely derived from his father - you know, that big dude with the tiny head? Why is he not on this list?

Here's a possible answer - he's drinking himself silly. I guess he got a peek at his quarterly earning report.

No comments: