Sunday, March 26, 2006
Ask your doctor about Post-Cinematic Couch Disorder
Last weekend I had my first day off in what seemed like eons, and Mrs. Blogfoot and I laid around the house, whiling the Saturday away by flipping through channel after DirecTV channel ( far superior to “digital” cable by the way, which is actually an analog signal compressed and sent digitally, then unscrambled back to analog and shown in all its inferior glory on your TV, but sold to the uninformed masses as digital ), when we saw that “Jaws” was about to start on AMC. We then proceeded to watch the whole thing, commercials and all.
The fact that we watched it in its entirety even though we’ve both seen this fine film umpteen times wasn’t in and of itself that big a deal. What was weird is that I own the movie on DVD. I could watch it with better picture and sound quality, and without commercials, anytime I choose.
A quick poll of friends confirmed that I am not the only one to suffer from “Post-Cinematic Relaxed Disorder”, the inexplicable watching on TV of a movie you own. It primarily strikes men, although women will sometimes fall prey to it, mainly due to being in close proximity to the male victim. Programming executives at TBS are obviously well aware of this syndrome, as evidenced by “The Shawshank Redemption” being shown 24/7 on their channel.
Related disorders include “Uncle Buck-itis”, wherein the stricken viewer will always stop and watch a movie that’s really not that great, kinda OK at best, but somehow holds sway over you. There’s also “Staying Alive-atosis”, named after the execrable 1983 sequel to “Saturday Night Fever”, which differs in that it is a very bad movie that repeatedly sinks its talons into you.
Those of you who are too cheap to pop for cable / satellite will probably not be aware of this affliction. I pity you. Readers with creative inclinations are encouraged to submit their own names for the disease so that I may swipe them.