Friday, April 07, 2006
Behold: Bigfoot's bed
I hope all of you are sitting down as you read this. Because what you are looking at is the nothing less than the boudoir of a sasquatch. This mass of soft grass bedding was found in the rear of a cave during a BFRO (Bigfoot Field Researchers Organization) expedition in Arizona just this week. And yes, wiseass, there are Bigfoot in Arizona. When they retire from a full, active life of stalking and posing for blurry photos, they like to settle down in a tax-free warm-weather climate, just like us.
This cave was found below the lip of an 8000 foot plateau, near where a retired police officer and his wife saw a sasquatch in July 2005. The cave is 40 feet deep, 10 feet wide, and 7 feet at the entrance. The bedding "covered an area the size of 3-4 king beds" and "was very soft and comfortable."
There you have it. This startling find proves beyond a shadow of a doubt that:
1.) Bigfoot is real
2.) He has a bad back.
A professional wildlife biologist attended the expedition and examined the cave, and concurred that the bedding "appeared to be prepared by something with hands", and not gathered by any known animal such as a bear or wood rat. The BFRO plans on monitoring the cave with telephoto lenses in the future.
You can read more on this exciting anthropological / posteurpedic find here .