Monday, April 10, 2006

For the discriminating asshole


Here at Blogfoot we are constantly amazed by mankind's ability to tirelessly push the boundaries of what dickishness can and must be. To this end, a company in Chicago will be soon be unleashing this monument to subtlety onto unsuspecting Windy City streets. No, your eyes do not deceive you. That is indeed an airplane. More accurately, it's a "Learmousine Limojet", an old Lear jet that has been converted into a limousine so that it may now ferry about shitheels on the ground instead of in the air.

Presumably welded together by the A-Team in order to escape from some hanger they were locked in, this handsome vehicle can accomodate 16-18 passengers and also contains a disco ball, which as we all know is the must-have accessory if you're going to drive around in an airplane while laughing at the less-fortunate who are forced to stagger around on non-winged tipped feet.

The "Learmousine" also comes with:
30" Chrome Wheels
Spacious Seating
(1) 42" Plasma Screen
(4) Large Flat Screen TVs
DVD player
Laser, Strobe Lights
4,500 Watt Stereo with CD Player
Theater Surround Sound
Realistic Jet Engine Cranking System and More

By the way, they have a patent-pending on this nifty idea, so don't think you can just head out to the garage with a soldering gun and copy them. Gird your loins and reserve yours here .

4 comments:

Red Skull said...

Interesting. I recently read of a new limousine available for lease in Russia that is actually a refurbished Soyuz space capsule. It boasts 3 different vodka bars and allows the occupants to blast their urine via an airlock at unsuspecting peasants who gawk at the vehicle. Sadly, the entertainment system consists of four 13" black and white Westinghouse TVs with rabbit ears. Such is the state of high definition in the old CCCP.

BlogFoot said...

Whenever a town was sacked, wherever cruelty and oppression reigned, the Red Skull was there.

I should be careful. Men have died for speaking so flippantly to him.

Blogsquatch said...

No moon roof? I had hoped to see this thing going down Michigan Ave. with five bachelorette party attendees squeezing their drunken torsos out the top of it screaming that unmistakable “woo hoo” while waving a giant inflatable penis.

Like a Pride Day float.

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