Tuesday, May 09, 2006
Spotting Bigfoot: now only for the wealthy
High-end automobile manufacturer BMW has announced that they are debuting a new thermal imaging system in some of its cars. How it works is this: the thermal imaging camera detects human beings, animals and objects up to 1,000 feet in front of the car before they become visible to the human eye in the headlights, and then transmits the image to a central display. It's night vision, basically.
Why does this matter to me? Simple. Many Bigfoot sightings are brief glimpses of something crossing a highway in front of a startled motorist, and now some tassel-loafered blueblood who couldn't care less is going to end up getting a good look at Bigfoot before I am, all thanks to some fancy thingamajig in his BMW. Then he'll chuckle about it to all his friends over a dinner of Alaskan king crab at the yacht club later, perhaps as a segueway to talking about a junk bond or hedge fund or something.
Then he'll get up the next day and play some squash. Maybe pick up his brat from some tony private school. Then head home to watch some German internet porn where people crap into each other's mouths. Because rich people are weird.
But I digress. You can read all about the elitist plot and see the video demonstration here.