Tuesday, May 09, 2006

Spotting Bigfoot: now only for the wealthy


High-end automobile manufacturer BMW has announced that they are debuting a new thermal imaging system in some of its cars. How it works is this: the thermal imaging camera detects human beings, animals and objects up to 1,000 feet in front of the car before they become visible to the human eye in the headlights, and then transmits the image to a central display. It's night vision, basically.

Why does this matter to me? Simple. Many Bigfoot sightings are brief glimpses of something crossing a highway in front of a startled motorist, and now some tassel-loafered blueblood who couldn't care less is going to end up getting a good look at Bigfoot before I am, all thanks to some fancy thingamajig in his BMW. Then he'll chuckle about it to all his friends over a dinner of Alaskan king crab at the yacht club later, perhaps as a segueway to talking about a junk bond or hedge fund or something.
Then he'll get up the next day and play some squash. Maybe pick up his brat from some tony private school. Then head home to watch some German internet porn where people crap into each other's mouths. Because rich people are weird.

But I digress. You can read all about the elitist plot and see the video demonstration here.

9 comments:

anonymous bastard said...

And what brand of car do you drive, oh one who writes clever quips? Surely it isn't a fine german luxury braned auto is it?

We all know you are rich... you have a color TV. Go get one of these fine machines so you can find your beast!

BlogFoot said...

I've got to expand my readership beyond just those who know me.

Leah said...

Maybe you can have an airplane fly around downtown Minneapolis while displaying a banner that reads rob-blogfoot.blogspot.com. Then, your audience might grow to a collection of anonymous bastards, street bums, and gang members.

BlogFoot said...

I'm big in Japan.

the clown said...

I agree with anonymous bastard. I mean, didn't you have some fancy three-hundred dollar lamp at work the other day? And, you got dessert at the king on friday, you've got tons of cash to piss away, it seems.

BlogFoot said...

Listen 'the clown'...don't be lulled by anonymous bastard's hippy ramblings...he drives a BMW and just bought a hot tub.

Nonetheless, it pains me that my presumably educated readership cannot identify satire when they see it.

Anonymous said...

Hey what a great site keep up the work its excellent.
»

Anonymous said...

I find some information here.

Anonymous said...

That's a great story. Waiting for more. Ski vacation lake tahoe Discount buspirone rx Weight+loss+drug