Monday, May 01, 2006
Stephen Colbert tears asshole a new asshole
The White House had its annual Press Corps Dinner Friday night, an event where media figures usually poke gentle fun at the President, who is in attendance, stopping short of actual insults in favor of making a room full of corpulent wealthy white men chuckle knowingly.
Not Stephen Colbert. The former correspondent of "The Daily Show" and current host of his own "The Colbert Report" apparently has balls the size of grapefruit, or perhaps even melons, because he took the opportunity to bend Bush over, stick it in, break it off it off and leave it in there still wriggling, if you know what I mean. And I think you do.
Bush was entirely displeased by the events, and sat unsmiling at the conclusion of the routine, his only reaction to nod curtly and offer a wan handshake to the soon-to-be-audited Colbert.
Colbert spoke in the voice of his talk show character, a blowhard who supports the President. Some excerpts:
He attacked those in the press who claim that the shake-up at the White House was merely re-arranging the deck chairs on the Titanic. "This administration is soaring, not sinking," he said. "They are re-arranging the deck chairs--on the Hindenburg."
He compared Bush to Rocky Balboa in the "Rocky" movies, always getting punched in the face--"and Apollo Creed is everything else in the world."
And this fine bon mot:
"To just sit here, at the same table with my hero, George W. Bush, to be this close to the man. I feel like I'm dreaming. Somebody pinch me. You know what, I'm a pretty sound sleeper, that may not be enough. Somebody shoot me in the face."
You can read the transcript of Colbert's speech here, and the story here, or if reading makes your brain itch, watch the video here.