Monday, November 27, 2006

Blogfoot's Handy Holiday Gift Guide (or B.H.H.G.G. for short)

There's no denying it: the holiday season is upon us, people. Which means it's time for you to shell out some of your hard-earned gold ingots for the people you care about, or even may not care much about. To help you wade through the morass of choices, we have combed the internet to bring you gifts off the beaten path that will delight and amuse recipients of all ages and mental capacities.

First up is...Bubo the mechanical owl! Yes, that's right: this lame character from the 1981 howler (apologies to Ray Harryhausen, whom I love and revere)"Clash of the Titans" can now sit atop your mantle, clicking, whirring and hooting at all your guests. Actually, it's not really mechanical at all. You can't control it. So you'd have to pose it and make all the owly / beeping noises yourself. But you know what they say...imagination is the best toy of all! This baby is only $350.00 and is available from the strange nerds at Stelter Creative.

Next up is a more interactive type of item...a puppet of the deformed mutant baby from the 1976 shocker "It's Alive!" The puppet is made so that you hold it as you would an infant, proudly over your shoulder for all to see. Strap it on, hit the mall and watch the masses scratch their collective heads. Make gurgling and mewling sounds to amuse passerby. Growl at children. You're in control! It's available here for a mere $60.

And finally, we close out this installment of B.H.H.G.G. with an item that is both practical and amusing. We're all aware of the rash of recent studies showing that obesity is on the rise in this country. Well, there's also a lesser-known study that suggests the public's pop-culture knowledge is waning dangerously. This item addresses both issues: it's a scale that measures your weight not in pounds, stones or kilograms, but in pop culture characters!

So if you're skinny and step on the scale, it may tell you that you weigh as much as "Gizmo" from "Gremlins", or maybe Mr. Bean. But if you exhibit no self-control and eat everything in sight during the holidays, you may hit the dreaded "Mr. Ed" mark. I can only hope that the highest setting is for William "Cannon / Jake and the Fatman" Conrad. Although the website says that it ranges "from baby Jesus to King Kong", so that might be my answer. This item is from England, so I suggest you order early.

More suggestions to come over the next couple of weeks.


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